Raw
by dharmamonkey
Summary: Booth reflects on his feelings at seeing his beloved Bones again after spending three long, agonizing months apart. Sequel to "Empty" and "Numb." Episode tag: "Future in the Past" 8x1 .


**Raw**

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**By: **dharmamonkey  
**Rated: **M**  
Disclaimer: **Hart Hanson owns Bones. But people like me who play in his sandbox give you all those little moments that Hart and friends leave out. In this case, a glimpse into what happened in the first minutes after Brennan and Booth reunite in the hotel room.

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**A/N: **_An "UNF Alert" applies to what follows. If you don't like reading that sort of thing, or shouldn't be because you're too young, stop now. All others, welcome and enjoy!_

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My arm hovered in midair, my hand curled into a fist tight enough that my fingernails dug into my palm, the muscle of my right shoulder twitching with unsprung tension as I looked down at the figure pinned beneath me on the floor.

"Bones?"

"Booth," she said. "I knew you'd come."

For a minute, it felt like my whole world had stopped, as if everything around me had come to a grinding and screeching halt. My breath hitched in my throat as I gazed down at her.

She'd bleached her hair blonde and she'd lost a little weight since I'd seen her last—three long months earlier—but her pale blue eyes blinked back as me as she gave me an awkward smile. It seemed for a second like there was a cautious optimism in her expression, a hesitation held behind her smile along with the breath I could feel her holding as I leaned my hips against her.

For a fleeting second, I felt it all—all of the anguish of being left behind; the resentment at not being consulted; the frustration of not knowing anything except that she was out there, somewhere, communicating with someone back home and it wasn't me; the emptiness and painful shock that slowly turned into a deep ache, and later, to an abiding numbness as I struggled each day to endure it all—and it came at me all at once, hitting me so hard, it seared me.

I closed my eyes for a second—just the space of a long blink, really—and tried to take it all, all of those feelings, and compress them into a tiny ball of pain that I could stuff away in a dark corner somewhere. My jaw tightened as I tried to flush it all away, but it burned so bad, like a wound where your skin's been torn off and you feel everything, every touch and every little puff of air, like a shock, the kind that makes you suck in a sharp breath between your teeth when you touch it because it hurts so damn much.

I opened my eyes again and looked down at her face. For a second, I just looked at her, soaking in the sight of her beautiful face, skimming the long line of her square jaw with my eyes as she smiled back at me with her perfect teeth. In that moment, that single tense moment that seems like it lasted minutes when I'm pretty sure it elapsed in a matter of a second, all of the desire I'd had to keep bottled up inside of me for three long months finally popped as I turned my head to the side, leaned over and covered her mouth with mine.

Her lips parted immediately and I felt her tongue skate along the bottom of mine as I ground my hips into hers. I kissed her hard, surging into her mouth as I wanted nothing more than drown myself in the taste and feel of her. Her soft, slender lips grasped at mine as we kissed, our hungry mouths clutching and sucking at one another as her hands slid down from my shoulders to grasp my biceps.

I leaned into my forearms as we kissed, caressing her soft hair with the fingers of my right hand. Moaning into her kiss as her hand came up to cup my jaw, which was covered with a day and a half of stubble, I rolled my hips against hers and smiled against her mouth when she groaned back to acknowledge she felt how badly I wanted her.

Whether it was a gust of wind or what, the door to the hotel room suddenly slammed shut, surprising us both as we pulled apart briefly.

I raised my head to look at the door but saw or heard nothing that seemed off, so I looked back down at Bones. Her mouth hung open, her lips bee-stung from our kisses, and after another moment of awkward silence, we both laughed. I felt her hands migrate to the hem of my dark blue T-shirt, which had ridden up to expose the small of my back during our short tussle and the mind-numbing kisses we'd just shared. I leaned over and began kissing her jaw, my lips working their way down from her ear, along the bottom edge of her jaw to the front of her neck as she sighed my name at the contact. I felt her fingertips skimmed over the skin along the waistband of my trousers and I jerked my hip against her as she murmured something unintelligible to me. Bones' hands tugged at the hem of my shirt, sliding it up my back impatiently before I sat up and peeled it off.

It all happened very fast. We were on fire, and the second I felt her bare skin, warm and silky and smooth, brush against mine, it didn't matter that we were on the floor of a seedy hotel room, my knees and hands dug into a carpet that had seen God-only-knows-what. It only mattered that she was there, and I was there, and we were there together. Her legs fell apart as I took my place between them, and as I felt the satiny touch of the inside of her thighs press against my hips, a surge of electricity ran up my spine. I ran my hand along that deliciously smooth skin, from the inside of her knee up to the crook of her thigh, brushing my knuckles across her curls and feeling how damp she was.

"Booooooth," she sighed, her hands reaching around to cup my ass, pulling me closer. "Please."

I didn't need to ask if she was ready. I looked down at her again, her cheeks flush with want as her chest rose and fell with each breath. I leaned into my hand and felt her thigh bump against my forearm as she grunted impatiently, then rolled my hips back, took a deep breath and slowly slid into her.

"Oh my God..."

I leaned my head back and sighed, my mouth falling open as I slowly withdrew and pressed in again, suddenly finding myself gasping for breath and unable to form a coherent thought or syllable as I tumbled headlong into the all-encompassing sensation of being inside of her again. I was beyond thinking at that point, and all I could see, all I could hear, all I could taste and smell and feel was her—the way her warm, wet walls swallowed me up and closed around me, holding me tightly as if with each stroke her body was reluctantly coaxed to let me go before I surged into her again. I rocked into her, each of my rolling strokes punctuated by a soft grunt on my part and by a long, breathy sigh ending in a quiet moan on her end, and with each stroke I tried to drive as deeply into her as I could. Maybe it sounds terrible, but in that moment as I moved inside of her, I didn't care how long it had been for her, or how uncomfortable it might have felt, me grinding into her against that scratchy, commercial-grade carpet—I just wanted to feel her, to lose myself in her completely, to be absolutely and totally swallowed up inside of her, to surround myself with her, to curl myself up into a little ball and tuck into her so I wouldn't ever have to let her go or feel apart from her.

I fell into a rhythm as I drove into her, but my pace became more frantic as I tried to bury myself into her so deeply that there was no way I'd ever find my way out of her again. Her moans began to peak, their pitch rising each time I rocked into her, and my own grunts became louder and more punctuated each time I felt myself bottom out inside of her.

There was a time for taking care of her and drawing everything out so each of us could feel every little thing—but this was not that time. As I felt her fingertips digging into my ass, squeezing each time I rose up inside of her and made her sigh, I could feel her getting very, very close. I swelled up and hardened a bit more as her walls began to tighten around me, and her head fell back, her mouth open as a long, arcing cry heralded her release in the last moments before she shattered, her body fluttering around me as I drove into her once, twice and then a third time when I felt myself finally break, my balls jerking tight before I flooded into her.

"Oh Jesus, Bones," I whispered as I rolled my hips back one more time and pressed into her, holding myself there as the last pulses of my own release faded.

It took a minute for the world to stop spinning around me and I finally opened my eyes. She looked up at me with those gorgeous, soul-swallowing blue eyes of hers which blinked at me, slow and heavy-lidded as a lazy smile hung on her lips. She took a breath, licked her lips and opened her mouth to speak.

"Booth, I—"

I didn't know what she was going to say, but in that moment, I didn't want to hear words. I didn't want to hear an apology, or an excuse, or an explanation, or any kind of rationalization. I didn't want to hear any of it. I couldn't deal with it. It was all too raw, too painful to deal with. All I wanted was to be with her, to feel her and see her and touch her and be with her, and to see my little girl again. The other stuff—all those things still smoldering deep inside of me that I didn't really understand and couldn't have really given a name to if I'd tried—I just couldn't deal with it. I just couldn't. It was too much. Too much and too raw. Just like one of those things where your skin's been ripped off, it hurt too much to even think about touching any of that stuff. I couldn't. It was too raw. I had to heal. I needed time. Time and...

I just couldn't.

"Don't," I said quietly as I leaned down to kiss her, my lips humming against hers for a moment as I felt her tongue dart out and touch mine before I pulled away again, holding her bottom lip between mine briefly before breaking the kiss. "Just don't."

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**A/N: **_So that's what my muse woke me up at 5am to write. (Now I need a friggin' latte.)_

_So, did you like it? Please, these short little pieces that you read in two minutes take hours to write. In this case, two hours (never mind the time spent percolating in the thick mental jungle of the monkeybrain). I would be grateful if you'd take thirty seconds to leave a review._

_Pretty, pretty please?_

_Thanks for reading! You guys are great._


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